Tom Cruise is not gay!

Features

21 Nov 2007
Tom Cruise is not gay!
Well he might be.

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One of the most enduring zelebrity rumours is that the world's biggest (so to speak) movie star is not a red-blooded heterosexual, but a pink-blooded bandit. It's been around since the 80s and lawsuits never dampen our interest. But why is this so? Let diabolik.tv investigate the muck and find the truth...

The Beginning

One thing we know about the Cruiser's youth is that he wanted to be a Catholic priest. Of course, as homosexuality has hit the mainstream, so the necessity (for some) to hide it has decreased and only paedophile priests are really to be found hidden in its celibate cloisters nowadays, but back then anything considered unacceptable socially could hide behind the mask of Catholicism. Not that a desire to be a priest proves anything, but it certainly fuels the fire.

And more fuel to the fire could be the Cruiser's teenage penchant for wrestling. Which as most wrestlers will tell you, is not gay in the slightest. But which most gays would tell you is utterly, completely and 100% gay, owing largely to the fact it involves two men getting into positions usually only reserved for ice skaters and their flatmates, and because it is clad in lycra and soaked in man sweat. It's gay porn, in a nutshell.
Hello sailor.

But what the firelighter on the barbecue of this flaming rumour is most likely, is the Cruiser's first wife Mimi Rogers' comments in a Playboy interview circa the late 80s. She described the couple's childlessness as being less about infertility (as Tom claimed) and more about his lack of sexual advances towards her. She even stated that he wanted to become a monk.

These comments naturally alarmed Cruise's people, and it's alleged that a portion of Rogers' divorce settlement was clawed back as it had been awarded on condition of non-disclosure. She never spoke of him again. Well, she said nothing interesting again, anyway. And her career died. Who'd have thought a 5'7 Scientologist could wield so much power.

Enter Nicole

But, I hear you cry, was he not married to hot ginner-but-we-still-like-her Nicole?

There's a fair few rumours alleging this was only a marriage of convenience. Their strange courtship does seem to back this up. According to the official side of the story (as told by Tom himself), his people arranged a meeting with the Aussie totty after seeing her movie Dead Calm and learning she had just arrived in Hollywood. The rumour mill alleges that it was at this meeting the marriage was arranged. Nicole was promised stardom in her own right on condition that she masqueraded as Mrs Cruise; the marriage was to end amicably a split second before the magic ten year mark that would give her half of everything. Children would be an integral part of the deal.

In a wish fulfilling scenario of every straight man's wettest dreams, this rumour also alleges that Nicole herself is in fact a lesbian. Which if true, would certainly give her reason to sign up.

And the marriage played out exactly as the rumour suggests. Tom and Nicole played happy families for nine years, adopting children along the way and publicly announcing the amicable divorce shortly after the release of their last film together Eyes Wide Shut, itself awash with rumours of coaches hired to choreograph the Cruises' onscreen lovemaking (a rumour that cost US tabloid The Star and the Daily Express a lawsuit - The Star settled the suit with an unspecified donation to charidee, while the Express paid Cruise £350,000 and printed a retraction of its claims.

And now it gets really good

It seemed that in the post-Nicole period, Tom's sexuality would become less of a hushed Chinese whisper and more of a mainstream gossip rag staple. The trigger for this is probably the allegations of gay porn star Kyle Bradford (Chad Slater) and the high profile lawsuit against him.

Slater claimed he'd had a long-running affair with the star in French magazine Actustar. The claim was that Cruise had contacted him via his "erotic wrestling" website and that naturally one thing had led to another. This claim was repeated by Slater's ex-wife Kristina Notaro in the National Enquirer.

"He told me he was approached by Tom on the Internet. He said Tom saw his Kyle Bradford website and contacted him to wrestle. They met at the Century Plaza Hotel for a wrestling match in one of the rooms. From that point on, Chad was always walking to and from the Century Plaza Hotel where was meeting with Tom. Chad told me that Tom would take a hotel room under an alias and place a bodyguard at the door. Then they would take mattresses off the beds and put them on the floor so they could wrestle."

Cruise eventually sued Slater, Notaro and Actustar, settling out of court for an estimated $17m and Actustar printed a retraction with Slater claiming he'd made the whole thing up. The suit against Notaro was less successful and she was awarded $58,000 costs.

More rumours

After the high-profile lawsuit was over, the rumours (all unsubstantiated) became more pronounced. One alleges that Tom did a Travolta and checked into a room at the Ritz Carlton in Los Angeles, incognito with a young Asian; and another that claims Nicole caught him in bed with another man.

Katie Holmes!

Just when the gay rumours were getting too much, Cruise then jumps on oprah's sofa to declare his undying love for another struggling young actress, Katie Holmes, who will eventually go on to have a baby with him (by IVF, of course). Aside from the lengthy pre-nuptial contract (fairly standard in Hollywood), and the rumour he had interviewed several young actresses for the role, another story emerged claiming that Marisol Thomas, wife of Rob Thomas of Matchbox 20, caught Tom and her husband in bed together. It was alleged that Mrs Thomas was bought off for an undisclosed large sum, and that Cruise's people then set about finding a suitable bride. Top of the list was Jessica Alba (who refused). Lindsey Lohan was at one point considered but rejected as "undesirable".

Though completely unsubstantiated, this could explain the sudden nuptials and exaggerated romance; the gossip columnists have certainly had a field day.

And finally

In 2006, former gay porn star Paul Barresi, researching a book about Hollywood lawyer Anthony Pellicano made another allegation. It alleged that during the shooting of Eyes Wide Shut, Cruise had an encounter with a male escort in London. This claim was repeated to the National Enquirer: Paul Barresi.

"I was in my underwear and he was touching my butt mostly and, his finger - through the underwear touched my anus and he was stroking my balls, just a little bit. It was quick. He whispered in my ear, “It’s okay. Just relax. Just relax.” At one time he actually picked me up and threw me down and said, “I think red heads are really hot, and I hear you’re called Big Red.” Then, once my underwear was off, he got into some serious stroking. He told me to jack off so he could watch. I did and after I came, he threw me a towel. I got dressed and then the two men drove me back to the club in London."

The story continues that the Enquirer declined to publish the story but passed the details on the Pellicano for verification. He contacted the male escort (codename: Big Red!), and questioned him at length, later (allegedly) telling Barresi that he found the story credible. It was also alleged that immediately after this conversation, Red's phone was tapped and he was followed at length by someone in a van (unsubstantiated).

Cruise's people were unsurprisingly not impressed with this claim and have threatened legal action if the book is ever published. The story didn't end there though. Later in 2006, Andrew Morton interviewed Barresi for a book he was writing about the Cruiser, an action which prompted Cruise's overworked legal team to write a strong letter to Morton. Sniff it bitch!

"I wrote a letter to Mr Morton back in November and said he obviously was entitled to write the book but 'make sure you check your facts. If he tries to use my letter to create the impression that Mr Cruise did have a gay affair, we will certainly sue... because the story is false. Mr Cruise is not gay."

Obvious really, isn't it.