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Thread: My Dad

  1. #1

    Default My Dad

    I'm so sorry. I have nowhere else to post apart from the ridiculousness that is DS and even I'm not stupid enough to post this there. I just don't have anywhere else.

    My Dad had a heart attack in the sea at Bournemouth on Wednesday. He was resuscitated on the beach by the lifeguards and obviously went straight to hospital.

    But he was without oxygen too long. He's gone. He was meant to be taken off his ventilator today and die in my mum's arms. My sister's seen fit to do research and wave it at the consultant to make them do another of the same test and see a neurologist face to face. When C argues, you just go along with it.

    Tomorrow at 4, his body will be at peace.

    I'm again so sorry for posting this. I just .. we're all broken. You are such kind people on here that I hope this isn't horrible.

  2. #2
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    My sincere condondoleces at this terrible time. Thinking of you yurtle x

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    Sorry, Yurtle, that's so sad!!

  4. #4

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    You're both so kind, and I thank you. Im well aware I only post when there's shit going on, and for that I apologise so much. It just feels like you all listen. Like you're real people.
    He's such a brave man. We thought he was getting better after Friday because they took him off the ventilator and he struggled like hell. Saturday when we went in, he was more peaceful and just warm to the touch. Then the consultant took us in and that was that they just couldn't do any more for him. I do understand, they were amazing. And at the end, they're saying "Bob, we're just going to roll you over now" and treating him like a human being, who can hear and everything. They're amazing.
    His birthday present is coming tomorrow. He would've been 68 next Sunday. We got him four different Tabasco sauces cos he loves Tabasco on pretty much everything. I don't know what to do with them.

  5. #5
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    I'm so sorry yurtle. My condolences to you and your family. I hope it goes as smoothly as these things can. Don't feel like you can't have a vent here :)

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    Yeah, vent as much as you want :)

    So tough, I've never lost anyone that I really cared about so far.

  7. #7

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    Quote Originally Posted by Infy View Post
    I'm so sorry yurtle. My condolences to you and your family. I hope it goes as smoothly as these things can. Don't feel like you can't have a vent here :)
    Thank you so much, every one of you. I don't know whether to go tomorrow because I kissed him goodbye on whatever day it was, I don't even know. Told him he'd set us all up with fantastic partners and not to worry cos we will look after mum, he doesn't have to worry. It's just my sister C has fought against denial, but Dad's ready to go.

  8. #8
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    I don't really know how to say this without it seeming to be about me.And this is about you.
    But when my husband was in hospital he was on a ventilator for a week in intensive care.And had also had a Tracheotomy.
    I can't remember all that was going on ., as it was the most harrowing week of my life.

    But I do remember when the doctors came to me ,to say that his life support should be turned off because he would not recover they said.
    "We are here to prolong life,not death"

    I do not think any doctor wants to have to say this,even if it is the truth after all avenues of care have been exhausted.,to those that love their patient, and find those words unacceptable.
    Yurtle, I am so very very sorry.It is so sad.

  9. #9

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    Quote Originally Posted by kezza View Post
    I don't really know how to say this without it seeming to be about me.And this is about you.
    But when my husband was in hospital he was on a ventilator for a week in intensive care.And had also had a Tracheotomy.
    I can't remember all that was going on ., as it was the most harrowing week of my life.

    But I do remember when the doctors came to me ,to say that his life support should be turned off because he would not recover they said.
    "We are here to prolong life,not death"

    I do not think any doctor wants to have to say this,even if it is the truth after all avenues of care have been exhausted.,to those that love their patient, and find those words unacceptable.
    Yurtle, I am so very very sorry.It is so sad.
    Oh, Kerry, I am so very sorry to have resurrected any memories for you. I really, really am.
    I wish all you guys could somehow have known my dad. He would always do the right thing. He was a better person than me!
    And to think I have to walk into that house knowing he's not there is just .... wow. I have to do it for mum but I'll be waiting for him to walk in the front door too.

    Kerry, Im so sorry. I didn't mean to bring anything back. I feel awful

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by yurtle View Post
    Oh, Kerry, I am so very sorry to have resurrected any memories for you. I really, really am.
    I wish all you guys could somehow have known my dad. He would always do the right thing. He was a better person than me!
    And to think I have to walk into that house knowing he's not there is just .... wow. I have to do it for mum but I'll be waiting for him to walk in the front door too.

    Kerry, Im so sorry. I didn't mean to bring anything back. I feel awful
    Oh please don't say that.It is you who must be so distraught at this life changing time.
    I am trying to tell you how the doctors will have tried everything that is possible.

    I bet your Dad was lovely and that is how you will eventually come to terms with your loss., by remembering what great man he was.

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